Destination to Destiny

Daily writing prompt

What gives you direction in life?

“If you don’t know where you want to go, then it doesn’t matter which path you take.”

― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

I often find myself wondering which way I should go, if a certain decision was the right one, and I feel this internal struggle. As a believer in Jesus, we are often told we need to follow God’s will and not our own and this causes a lot of confusion. I have watched sermons, read Christian books, prayed, and fasted, and even searched the scriptures; in order to find God’s will! Do not get me wrong, my faith is what keeps me in this Alice and Wonderland saga, that we call life! However, there is no way to perfectly follow God’s will, we are NOT meant to be perfect.

As I sit here and watch Alice and Wonderland, (1951) I remember that I always hated this movie as a kid because, I found it terribly confusing! It seemed ridiculous that this child is chasing a white rabbit and keeps finding herself in more trouble and utterly lost. Now as I watch this movie, with years on me and a little more wisdom, I see the similarities to my own life. How many times, have I been chasing my own white rabbit, in search of something better than what I currently possess? A young girl, that was too curious for my own good and truly had no sense of direction! I can wholeheartedly say, I felt great conviction when Alice weeps and sings, about how confused she is and that she has great advice but seldom uses it!

Many times, I have promised God, after I have gotten myself lost and in a mess that I am done with the nonsense, and I want to go home! The figurative home, the place with God where I admit my wrongs and ask him to forgive my folly. As the loving Father, he welcomes me home with warm arms, and shortly thereafter, I become restless with waiting to find his plan for my life. Alice sings:” Be patient, is very good advice, but the waiting makes me curious, and I love the change, should something strange begin”. We all have been there, haven’t we? Then I am heading in the direction that seems like the right one, but along the way I end up veering from the path. I know why Jesus calls himself the Good Shepherd because we truly are like dump sheep!

The direction in which we go in this life cannot be planned out as strategically as we would like, and God’s will cannot be forced or manipulated. God is not withholding the mysteries that we seek; he simply allows us to learn along the way. I have learned that he will show us one step at a time and nothing more, and it’s quite frustrating! The Good Shepherd guides us an protects but he already knows that our nature is to wander, and we do suffer for that. However, it is in the wandering that I am shaped, restored, broken, strengthened, and able to see the reason God’s way is always better. I know where I want to end up, but how I will get there is not as clear! I understand now, “Not all who wander are lost”. My fate, with my Lord and savior are already paved, but I must continue learning the roads that lead me home. May your journey be full of love, hope and beauty!

Wonders Anew

Poem: ShilohRose77©

He came to show me wonders anew through the redemption of sins.
This perfect miracle given for me and you to win.
Savior unto all who answer his call; and keep faith in him.
The blood of the Holy Lamb, slain for broken hearts to become anew.
He shows his glory with unfailing love that transforms my thoughts onto things above.
Old things are passed away; sins remembered no more.
Oh! My soul he must adore!
Knock and the door shall be opened; ask to receive, give it to him-just believe.

Let Love Arise

Poem: ShilohRose77©

Let love arise among the world

join hands and sing

to Our Father in the skies.

Let love abide

free your heart from hate

stand together and believe

For our God has heard your cries.

Let love reside

in the hearts of man

turn away from wicked imaginations

the gift was given only recieve.

Let love inside

the Spirit of God

has power to create the heart; transform the mind

Let love arise; become alive.

Isaiah 60:1 says “Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you”

Sunday Road Trip

Describe a risk you took that you do not regret.

I will never forget this day it was December 20th, 2015. I slept restlessly, I had this sense of urgency but I didn’t know what it was about. At this time in my life, I was out of a car, because mine was repossessed, after I lost my job. It was a hard season but I was still hopeful that things would get better. A friend of mine, gave me like $700 to help me with down payment on another car, but I was just depressed.

I was having a little pity party, I was questioning God and just frustrated. Why were things so hard for me? I was working with them, I only missed one car note and they took my car! Here I am a single mother, working to provide and trying to live godly at the same time. I did not want my friend’s help, I wanted GOD to do something, had he not promised to be my provider?

This particular day, my son was with my mom and I was bored so I decided to take a drive. My sister who I lived with at the time, said I could use her car. I began driving aimlessly and then I had this urge to get out of town. I jumped on the interstate and headed east. I was enjoying the drive and listening to worship songs, trying to get in a better mood.

Suddenly I felt the same urgency come over me, I know some of you will think I’m nuts but I felt a fire all over my body. The sensation only getting more weird, I kid you not, I felt as if I was in labor with a child! My stomach was tightening and relaxing over and over and I felt the urge to push!!!! Note, I am definitely NOT pregnant! I couldn’t understand what was happening, until the Holy Spirit began to speak through me.

Finally, after several minutes of surrendering my body to whatever the spirit was doing, I was able to pull over. I sat at a gas station, tempted to go back home. However, I knew I needed to keep going. I got back on and kept going east. As I started recognizing where I was and remembered that there was a church I went once, when I was younger. I turned the GPS on and exited the interstate, heading to the church. After a few minutes I was there, and honestly confused.

Eventually, after praying for God to lead I realized after looking at the church sign, I had literally pulled up just in time for church. I had not been to church in a while, because I didn’t have a car, and I had moved. I looked down at my sweater and jeans, well I’m not exactly dressed for this Pentecostal service but I’m here! I go inside the tiny church and sit down, I recognize a few faces but I sit alone.

The woman speaker for the day noticed me after the service and came over. We embraced and I literally told her, “I don’t know why I am here”. She told me to come into her office, I explained the feeling I had, the urgency and how the spirit came over me. She has always been so kind to me, the few occasions she visited my home church. This church was a sister church to that one.

Then she tells me, “Why don’t you come back tonight, there is a family from your home church, coming here tonight”. I look at her like she is crazy, I don’t wanna just show up and I don’t even understand why I am here. She said they were having their family Christmas party. Then we pray and I leave. “God what have you gotten me into?”

Later, I come back reluctantly and I see the cars. I see someone going into a lower level entrance and I follow inside. When I get there I see a large group of people, there is food and tables setup. One of the ladies I make eye contact with says, “Hey lady! Why are you here?” I explain again that I’m not sure why I am here, but I felt led to be there. The best thing about this whole ordeal is that no one treats me weird, they believe me!

After a while of small talk, I ask her could she pray with me. We go into a private room and begin to pray. The prayer is so powerful, we both are on the floor, on our knees weeping. I don’t know how long we pray, it seems like forever. When her husband comes in, he says he can see the glory of God on my face. I am in awe, after praying we go into the sanctuary.

In the sanctuary, the children from all of her family are playing with the drums and other instruments. The children knew we had been praying and I was overcome with emotions. They began to sing, worship and play the instruments. I worship with them and it was beautiful. I was amazed at how this family was all on one accord, even with me an outsider!

Afterwards, we go back where the rest of the family are hanging out. They offer me food but I am too overwhelmed to eat. I keep seeing the flashes of her praying over me, like her own child. She held me, wept with me and spoke life over me! This wretch was alive again! Hallelujah!

Suddenly, I remember the money, that my friend gave me, I grab my purse and thumb through the envelope. I take out a few twenties for myself and I rush over to her. I hand her the bank envelope with the car down payment. I tell her to take it and I thank her profusely. She tried to refuse the blessing but I knew then, why I was there. I needed her comfort, strength and prayers. It was a Christmas miracle for us both!

“Where two or three are gathered, in my name, there I am in the midst of them”. Matthew 18:19-20

The Dawn of Resolution

Poem: ShilohRose77©

My end will be greater than my beginning! I came in with a short end of the deal, but I knew from an early age, I was alone. I watched from the outside looking in, wondering where I fit in this chaos? All I want is peace and joy in the storm of turmoil and rage. I gave my heart time and time, and I am left to burn. I won’t let the fire consume me; I won’t become what I can’t defeat. I won’t lay down or nurse the wounds, the blood is still warm; there is victory to gain.

What hurts now will soon pass and become a story on a page. I shall smile again, for a smile hides the darkest night. Beyond the seas of my mind lie the borders of still, sweet dreams, where I can release my soul and ease into ecstasy. I move like the wind to behold the one who is next to me. There is no mirror, mirror on the wall; the future is there and tells all. Plain as day, I see the way while the mystery unfolds. This quiet friend speaks through images of pain and sorrow, through the regeneration of my tomorrow. Your voice is loud and definite – my end will be greater than my beginning!”

Job 8:7 KJV: Though thy beginning was small, yet thy latter end should greatly increase.

Rose of Sharon

Daily writing prompt

Describe a random encounter with a stranger that stuck out positively to you.

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One morning in 2017, I woke up and I was a bit anxious about house hunting and a particular house we wanted to rent. We were running out of time at my current apartment, and I was really hopeful that this house would be the one! That day I was supposed to go and turn in our application, but I before I left, I decided to pray. I talked to God, telling him that I really wanted that house and rambled on about other concerns. During my prayer, I had opened my eyes and thought about the rose tattoo on my thigh and told God I wanted to dedicate that to Him. I wanted to get the phrase “Rose of Sharon” tattooed above the rose.

After my prayer, I rushed out and realized I would need gas before I could go and fax the rental application. I decided to stop at the MAPCO, that was right by my apartment complex, and I was trying to make this quick. I was already anxious and annoyed that I needed to get gas, so I hurriedly get out and start walking towards the store. I was in my own thoughts not really noticing the stranger coming my way, he was walking right into my path. It was odd once he got close enough for me to see him, he was so close to me with all of this walking space.

He was wearing dark colored clothes; maybe black or dark grey shirt and black jeans and I remember he had on a black backpack. He seemed overdressed for the warmth of the day, it was May and he had on a jacket. At this point, I am wondering what he wants and why he is rudely about to step right in front of my way. As I look at him, he looks like he’s been out in the sun or the elements a lot, his skin is tanned and leathery. I look at his fist and its clenched as if he is holding something. As he walks past me, he releases his fist, and a large handful of rose reddish-pink petals drop to the ground at my feet. He does not look at me he doesn’t say one word.

I have never had a guy do a gesture like, let alone not try and talk to me. I was so awed by this that all I could say to him was “Are these for me”? He never turned around he just nodded slowly and kept walking. I literally just couldn’t understand what had just happened, so I asked the guy I now noticed behind me if he saw the guy too. It was such an unusual encounter, that it was like my brain needed confirmation that it really happened. The guy behind me that was also walking into the store said “Yeah, that was weird”. This encounter only lasted a few minutes, but it was as if time had slowed. I went ahead into the store and paid for my gas.

After getting gas, I am still floored by this experience that I begin to look around for the stranger, I feel like I want to know more. Who is he and where had he gone? I wanted to know why he was carrying a fistful of rose petals and how was it he even held that many in his hand? I scan the street and the surrounding parking lots and I don’t even see any rose bushes! I quickly get into my car and drive slowly past the side street that was across the street, it was the last place I saw him. I am confused because I know I saw him walk in this direction, but he is nowhere to be found. I beginning questioning, how could he walk down this long street so quickly?

I knew I couldn’t spend any more time looking, I had to get to the UPS office to fax my application that sat on my passenger seat. I head to my destination still thinking about this occurrence and I am now fully convinced that he was an angel. Only God knew that I was just talking to Him about my rose tattoo and God knows how much I love roses. When I pull into the UPS parking lot, the SUV to my left has a giant bouquet of red roses sitting on the passenger seat. I smiled, another kiss from heaven, God knew how worried I was about finding a home for my family. We got that house, against all odds and moved in shortly after this experience. Abba Father will always be my “Rose of Sharon”.

I Knew You Weren’t

Poem: ShilohRose77
I knew you weren’t the one, when you couldn’t hear my silence.
The deafening sound of defeat, invaded my being and I lost myself.
The shell of who I once was, but you didn’t notice because she was enough for you.
You love flowers that have fallen from their throne, you bought just the place.
The glass house for the flower to bloom, but also to wilt.
I knew you weren’t the one when my smile began to dim.
My heart beat changed and my breath shortened, a new battle within.
I’m fighting my own instincts, telling myself it will get better.
I deny the pain because you said it was in my head.
I knew you weren’t the one when I could no longer trust myself.
As I fight to recover and renew, I realize it wasn’t me, it’s you.
After all these years, I knew you weren’t the one, now I chose me.
I’m blooming and growing stronger each day, awakening to the possibilities of love without fear.
I knew you weren’t the one because she is me and I am here.

Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up with their wounds.

The Blue Bible

Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you.

When I was nine years old, my granny sent me to Summer Bible Camp. I was so excited to go to camp with my cousin Brittany. I remember I didn’t have a Bible, so granny gave me one to take with me. It was one of her old Bible’s and I loved it. It smelled like her perfume, and it reminded me of safety. As I flipped through the pages, I would see her little notes in the margins.

I didn’t know that soon, I would embark on my very own personal relationship with God. I was baptized in Jesus name, in an old concrete tub, there at Bible camp. I remember as I was submerged in the cool water the feelings of a love I had never experienced. Granny, gave me the keys to unlock new doors. That little blue Bible, gave me courage during a dark time in my life.

When I was I ten, I went to live with my dad because my mom was going through a mental health crisis. The loving and nurturing mother I had known, became mean, bitter and violent towards me. The physical and mental abuse began. Although my father was in no better shape to parent me. He used to beat my mother and they separated when I was eight. When I was with my grandparents going to church, they made me feel safe.

The little, blue Bible was a part of my granny that was tangible. I didn’t know much about her God, but I knew that I trusted her. I began to read it often, I have always been a lover of books. A lonely girl, needing direction for her life, I found God. He showed himself to me, through the pages of that Bible. He has never left, though I have wandered, I always come home.

Only You Know

Father of the Heavens and Earth, only you know my heart.

You see what I ‘am afraid to show, the fears and the hopes that I carry.

When the burdens become too much and I am on the edge, only you know my fate.

A mighty an outstretched arm holds me firmly all the while, renewing my strength.

Only you know that the shattered picture of my reality is provision for your plan to fall into place.

(Psalm 136:12) With a strong hand, and with a stretched-out arm: for his mercy endures forever.

What brings me happiness?

Daily writing prompt

What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?

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My children, I love to see them smiling and having a good time.
The quiet moments I find in the midst of all the busyness of my life.
Journaling my emotions, its a way to release.
I love to reread my journals and see how far that I have come.
The sky brings me happiness I am a sucker for a sunset or sunrise, and those starry nights.